Are you the cookie mom? Give yourself grace!
Or, are you the mom of boys who works a spreadsheet each year in an effort to support all the future female entrepreneurs in your inner circle? They’re out there pounding the pavement, selling cookies box by box, working to build the dream!
I’m the boy-mom. And I dropped the ball this year. Typically, I share the love and buy from every girl scout who asks. But, this year, I fell short. The reason I even decided to write about this is that I dropped the ball with my bestie’s daughter – twice – multiple balls dropped.
Sometimes life gets in the way. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Give yourself grace!
As I write this, on an overcast day in February, I’m three days away from launching a business. It’s hard and daunting and scary. I feel vulnerable as if I’m standing on a stage, getting ready for my big karaoke debut. Someone hands me the mic, and suddenly I realize I’m naked. And so here I am. I’m in the zone, getting comfortable with my nakedness (yikes, I could use a tan) and psyching myself up to put it all on the line. Is that an excuse for not buying the cookies? Yes, yes it is. This new business is currently my life’s passion and so I’m pouring my heart into it. Unabashedly.
Amanda and I have worked feverishly to give you Grace in the Race and yet, today, we sat at HQ (aka, my home office with the color-coded bookcase) stymied because we couldn’t describe who we are in a Facebook post.
We are two moms on a mission to pour into other moms to help them coordinate their chaos.
That much we know is true. We are here for the moms who are walking alongside us on this journey and for the moms who are in the very place we were five to ten years ago. We’re convicted that we have experiences to draw on and advice to offer that we only wish we’d have been given when we earned this job title known as “mom”.
And so, we’re here for all the mamas. For those valiantly rising above the chaos (most days) and for those out there drowning in it in an attempt to fight the good fight. The battle feels endless and strenuous right now, but we’re here to tell you: it gets easier! And this is all just too much to put in one Facebook post.
We’re here to encourage you to keep doing the hard things… and give yourself grace.
It is 100% worth it! Love on your kids with everything you have and then be willing to show them tough-love when you see an opportunity for them to learn and grow. It’s the hardest thing you will do as a mom and the thing for which they will look back on and admire you!
If you’re raising a newborn, pour into that baby with all the love your sleep-deprived heart can muster.
If you’re in the heat of the toddler years (we’re praying for you) give them the best of you. Every moment is a teaching moment in those years; be their mentor!
If you have elementary-aged kids, encourage them to start going it alone. You’re an arm’s length away at every step, but this is the time to start letting go just the slightest bit, for the sake of their independence. And give yourself grace.
When they reach middle school they will thrive on their independence.
Surely, you will start to wonder if they even need you anymore. But in the early days of that awkward, smelly stage, they WILL still love on you. They DO still need you and more than ever, they are watching. They are observing your every-loving act. The force is strong with the pre-teens; don’t let them fool you. They are preparing to venture out into the great big world of self-exploration and hard knocks. But they still need their mamas. Give yourself grace.
As they reach their teen years, they need you like never before.
Like weaning them from the breast (or the bottle), they may not need all their meals from you (hopefully, by now, you’ve taught them a few tricks to get by), but family dinners are more important than ever when after-school activities allow for them. Be in conversation with your teens. They are listening even if their every act is the opposite of what you’re trying to instill in them. Give yourself grace.
Undoubtedly, and more importantly, they are watching. They’ve studied you for years. They remember the cookie mom and the spreadsheet mom; the mom who volunteered in the classroom and the mom who worked the fifty-hour per week job. They know you and love you for who you are; for the woman you became while you were raising them.
As moms, we often fret that we’ve lost track of the woman we were before kids.
Fear not, she’s still in there! But she’s grown up. She’s become stronger, braver, smarter, funnier, sexier, more confident, more humble and more determined to thrive. She’s a better cook (don’t even question that), a homemaker, a counselor, a partner, a confidant, a mentor, a medic, a chauffeur, a sherpa, a comedian, a snuggler, a shoulder to cry on, a book-clubber, a phenomenal friend, and an example to women everywhere.
We are constantly shedding our skin for the next phase of life. Embrace it. Approach each new day with every bit of your best you! Be an example to your children, but more importantly, take back your identity and own your present so you can have an impact on your future; and theirs! They. Are. Watching. And they will follow your lead, mama!
After months of coasting, I made the hard decision to follow my dream. It feels selfish and lofty, and 100% spot on.
Look, I recognize that the self-serving feeling stems from having given all of myself to my young kids for the past ten years and I have no regrets about that, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that THIS is my time. THEY are ready for me to find myself again. I need to be THAT role model to them! It feels lofty because I’m exploring uncharted territory in building this business from the ground up with Amanda. We’re taking a chance and putting ourselves out there!
We’re putting our best foot forward and knocking on doors because we know you’re going to love our cookies! (We don’t actually sell cookies.) It’s not going to be easy. And sometimes our best friend’s mom will even neglect to support us, but we’ll persevere – one (in)box at a time – because we deserve this chance to own our present and forge our future. And, because they are watching! We have a responsibility to live by example and show the next generation that the hard things are worth working for and the dream is what we make of it.
So, to all you cookie moms (and boy-moms and spreadsheet-moms) out there, congratulations. You’re rocking mom-hood!
Keep doing the hard things. Keep setting an example for your daughters AND your sons. They’re watching. They see you. They love you. They believe in you and they want to be [like] you when they grow up! And, on the days (or seasons) when you drop the ball, GIVE. YOURSELF. GRACE.