Independence: Every Mom’s Conundrum

🔙 Return to the newsletter

Independence Day is upon us.

Independence Day is upon us.

That is a loaded statement for a mother.

This year, I have more friends than ever sending their first-born to college. While it’s not mine leaving the nest this fall (he still has one more year in the safe confines of the awkward middle school years), I have a keen awareness of the shift that’s happening around me.

We spend 18-ish years preparing to send our children out into the world. We hope they are ready to be on their own and able to fend for themselves. We hope we’ve instilled in them the skills it will take to navigate life without us.

History tells us that they are likely going to do just fine, and yet, moms will forever be left wondering whether we did enough.

Add to that the elephant-in-the-room-side-effect of our children gaining their independence… Are you ready for it?… Us moms regaining our independence. (Gulp!)

What will that even look like after we’ve been momming on the daily for so many years?

Whether you’re on the brink of empty-nester-dom or it still feels eons away, the reality is that it will be here in a flash. And so, we owe it to ourselves to start considering what our own independence might look like… How will retirement fit into that plan? Are we financially prepared for the next phase? Will we move? Will we travel? How will we fill the silence?

Yikes, this sounds like an opportunity to overthink some things… best not to. Give yourself grace. We don’t haven’t to figure it all out today.

For now, simply start dreaming. Visualize what you WANT independence to look like for you… Will you start a new hobby? Will you dust off an old one? Will you see the world? Will you finally give yourself the backyard oasis you’ve always wanted? Dream away mama!

We can’t always anticipate what life will throw our way, however we’re more likely to yield the results we dream of when we actually plan for them. Give your kids the gift of independence and brush up on your own skills while you’re at it!

There is a great podcast episode from Tracy Bedford of Invisible You in this week’s Grace in the Race Podcast Playlist that speaks to this. It’s called Become the Person You Need to Be to Get the Life You Want. Check it out in The List.

Keep reading for The List of expert tips and insights to tackle this week’s topic: Independence: Every Mom’s Conundrum.

---

The List: 15 Expert Resources for Moms (updated weekly!)

6 skimmable articles to offer perspective on this week’s topic, 8 informative and/or entertaining podcast episodes to make the chores fly by, and 1 insightful video to inspire you to move forward with grace.

---

📖 6 Skimmable Articles

🎗 Awareness   🏡  Home    🗂 Productivity    🥗 Wellness    🧗 Growth    👨‍👩‍👧‍👧  Family

🧗🏽‍♀️ What can we say? Elsa was wise beyond her years.

“Raising kids is never easy. And it’s even more difficult to let them go. I think most parents want to protect their kids as much as possible, but we need to let them turn into responsible adults.”

Read Letting Your Kids Grow Up: Some Tips For Easing The Transition by Dr. Carol Morgan

🏡 Your kids want you to regain your independence!

“Children, too, relish in seeing their parents building a life that doesn’t always revolve around them. It also takes the pressure off.”

Read How to Thrive in an Empty Nest by Lisa Heffernan and Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🗂  Why do adults ever stop playing?

“When we play, we nurture our relationships, support our physical and mental health, and increase creativity and productivity.”

Read Adults Need Play, Too! by Rebecca A. Weiner, M.Ed.

🎗 They’re always watching and listening… now’s your chance!

“By showing your child that independence is a positive thing for both you and for her […] you are setting the stage for your child to move toward independence at her own pace, with confidence and self-assurance.”

Read How to Encourage Independence in Your Child by Katherine Lee

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦  The best time to start teaching independence is when they’re young. The second best time? Right now!

“At some point, your child will become an independent adult. It’s your job as their mom to help foster this independence. It begins when they’re very young.”

Read 4 Things Moms Can Do To Promote Their Child’s Independence by Pam Myers

🥗 Avoid the syndrome!

“If your last child is about to leave home and you’re worried about empty nest syndrome, plan ahead. Look for new opportunities in your personal and professional life.”

Read Empty nest syndrome by The Mayo Clinic Staff

---

🎧 8 Podcast Episodes

📰 “What do you really want?”

“Find out what it takes to realize your dreams, why suppressing your dark side keeps you stuck and how to create a new identity so you can become anything you want.”

Listen to Invisible You | Become the Person You Need to Be to Get the Life You Want (26 min)

👸🏻 “How to continue to break the glass”

“Shattered Glass refers to the glass ceiling that women everywhere have struggled to break since the women’s rights movement. In this podcast, Kristen and Monica will talk to a woman each episode who has made a significant crack in the ceiling. “

Listen to Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard | Introducing Shattered Glass (22 min)

💡 “Does talking about death freak you out?”

“It’s something many of us avoid thinking about and prefer pretending it’s not there. But it’s an important topic, and if we can allow ourselves to sit with the truth that life will eventually end, it becomes a beautiful call to appreciate our lives and the people in them.”

Listen to Simplify | Kathryn Mannix: How to Die Well (41 min)

🤰🏻 “How we gather is how we live”

“Every day you’re creating a narrative in your home based on your conversations, your structure system, and your style of family life. Wouldn’t it be great to use that narrative to provide a greater purpose and mission statement for your family? “

Listen to PG-ish | Creating transformation one gathering at a time, featuring Priya Parker (11 min)

😎 The Weirdest Facts

“The weirdest things we learned this week range from gold medals for art to underwater hockey.”

Listen to The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week | Barefoot Marathons, Medals for Artwork, Pistol Dueling (57 min)

🧗 It’s a great time to change your life

“In this episode I want to share the 3 very simple, very repeatable steps I personally follow any time I want to create change in an area of my life. “

Listen to Tiny Leaps, Big Changes | The Summer Self-Help Guide (15 min)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 “You may never look at coins the same way again!”

“Jed called his old economics teacher, Ms. Grizzle, who took us on a very hands-on field trip to the factory that stamps out U.S. coins. Plus, we talked to an expert about all the ways that money moves through our economy. “

Listen to Million Bazillion | How is money made? Let’s head to the U.S. Mint! (23 min)

⏭ “We put every barrier we can in their way”

“Parents are languishing on waitlists or drowning in tuition bills. Teachers are underpaid. And providers can barely afford to keep the lights on.”

Listen to No One is Coming to Save Us | You’re Not Crazy. Childcare Is (51 min)

---

🎬 Insightful Video

Here’s some parenting math for you… Force = Resistance while Trust = Influence (oh, and there will be a test)

“Dr. Justin Coulson recounts a simple yet touching and powerful tale about his daughter that narrows in on what it means to be a good parent and how to install values in your children.”

Watch How To Raise an Independent, Free-Thinking Child | Dr. Justin Coulson | Goalcast (3:50)

That’s The List for this week!

Do you have go-to tips to navigate independence… or a take away from this week’s list? Drop us a note in the comments!

As always, we hope our newsletter inspires you to get your ship together and get through your week with grace.

Have a good one and please reach out if we can be helpful to you in any way!

Love & Grace,

Rachel & Amanda

---