How is your quarantine going? Are you practicing grace? If you’re like me, you have good days and bad days. I sometimes go to bed after a good day feeling confident I will ride “the good wave” into tomorrow and then awake baffled just 7-8 hours later because I’m enveloped in a state of woe that barely permits me to get out of bed. What the actual heck is that? Glennon Doyle refers to it as collective grief in this video she recently posted on Instagram.
Fatherly.com elaborates on the idea of collective grief and refers to it as anticipatory grief in this article. Are you familiar with Fatherly? (This is not an ad, just an impressed mama). Fatherly is the leading digital media brand for dads. Their mission is to empower men to raise great kids and lead more fulfilling adult lives. As a mom, I’m in love with this idea! I can only hope that I’m raising boys who will grow up to be “empowered to raise great kids and lead more fulfilling adult lives.” In the meantime, I’m signing my husband up for the Fatherly.com newsletter!
In the aforementioned video on collective grief from Glennon Doyle she suggests this: Resist the hustle and self-improvement messages. Grief is a cocoon from which we all emerge new. And it takes all we’ve got. Go easy. No shoulds, no shame. Just relentless tenderness.
Wow, okay. I hear you, Glennon. It’s a great reminder that although the race has come to a near halt, the need for grace is more abundant than ever. I respect that we all cope in different ways and that me wishing self-improvement upon all of you is perhaps not the best approach for everyone.
BUT, I believe this quote by F. M. Alexander, “People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” And, with that belief I will amend my wish for you to be this: pay attention to your habits. Beware the bad ones! They are a one-way ticket to the dark side. Work toward the good ones, keep an open mind and seek the bright side. It may take time to get there . . . So, I’ll add ‘practice patience’ to that list as well.
On the days when you’re ready for motivation, check out The Quote of the Day Show with Sean Croxton. He puts out new episodes of his podcast Monday through Friday. They are typically 12 minutes or less and are ALWAYS inspiring. The Daily Breath with Deepak Chopra is another podcast full of inspiration and enlightenment and episodes are also typically under 12 minutes.
Yet another way to feel uplifted is to embrace the positive change happening at the local level. I’m grateful for the daily email I get from Channel 4 here, in Detroit. It’s a newsletter called The Daily Report and it’s delivered to my inbox every morning. Last Saturday it included this article entitled, How to order takeout, grocery shop, wipe down your food in the safest ways possible. The article was relevant and chock-full of all things I needed to hear.
Hitting even closer to home, I’m in awe of what some of my friends are doing to help the cause. Corie Conroy of First Impression Home Staging & Interior Design, LLC and Mihaela Cobb are sewing masks for local healthcare workers. Amanda and I are so very proud of these women!
What inspires you these days? We invite you to share “good” social media with us! When you come across something positive, inspiring, or even just thought-provoking (sometimes the things that make us think are not especially joy-invoking – and that’s okay), tag us! Our social handles are below.
Facebook, Twitter: @graceintherace
If you’re not already following us, please do so, so we can do our part to share the love and shed light on the bright side.
Finally, we hope your good days outweigh your bad days. Wherever you find yourself in all of this, know that Amanda and I are here for you! Janet (Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty) said it best in Rhythm Nation: Let’s work together to improve our way of life! (Click the link and dance with me!)
P.s. If you let the youtube play you’ll feel like you’re at the concert . . . Little known fact, Janet was my first-ever concert when I was in 7th grade! The first one always sticks with ya!