AUTHORāS NOTE: This story was written in February 2020, before this season that weāve all come to know as āunprecedentedā. That said, this story speaks of less socially-distant times. We thought about editing it to suit todayās reality but we remain hopeful that weāll be back to ālife as usualā before we know it.
When we get back, these words will be helpful and will forever be available for your reference in our blog archive. Until then, we have an opportunity to establish new habits and routines that will set us up for success when we re-enter life as we knew it and so the show must go on. Enjoy the story!
Rock it like that girl!
Do you ever have a day where you feel like you absolutely rocked it? Itās like all the stars align and you even had a good hair day. On those days, you feel like the best version of yourself and you are! Nice work, Mama!
Not too long ago I had the realization that I define myself by that version of my ābest self.ā If you asked me to describe myself, it would be her, that girl that can rock it like a hurricane (and I know a hurricane when I see one). I mean, I know Iām capable of being her but, if Iām being honest, that version was not the version that showed up for my life MOST days. And so, I had to ask myself, āthen, who am I when sheās not around and why canāt I be that girl more often?ā
Letās address that first question first. Busy mamas like us are quick to focus on the things that drain our energy. Think about when someone asks how youāre doing, how often do you sigh and answer, āSO busy!ā or āSO tired!ā? We have overscheduled kids who require us to be overscheduled mamas. Add to that the fact that we donāt get enough sleep and make little time for ourselves. Being busy and exhausted becomes our focus.
Consider a new approach.
What if, when someone asked you how youāre doing – regardless of the truth – you answered, āNever better!ā? Iāve been experimenting with this. It does two things: first, it makes the other person smile. They even chuckle sometimes because they know you are just as busy and exhausted as they are. The second thing that happens is that their smile makes you smile. Suddenly, your brain is like, āoh, wow, look at us, we appear to be rocking it today!ā Itās the beauty of the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Self–fulfilling prophecy: the socio-psychological phenomenon of someone “predicting” or expecting something, and this āpredictionā or expectation comes true simply because one believes it will, and their resulting behaviors align to fulfill those beliefs. This suggests peoples’ beliefs influence their actions.
Wikipedia
A small change with a big impact
So that leads us to the second question: why canāt that girl show up more often? The answer: she can! Having awareness around my own limiting beliefs helps me get out of my own way so that I can be her more often! Iāve yet to be her all the days, but sheās started showing up more regularly and I attribute that to shifting my mindset and facing the āhard thingsā even on the hard days. For me, this started with getting really intentional around said āhard things,ā i.e., my daily habits and routines.
The most game-changing habit I embraced in my daily routine was starting a gratitude practice.
It took some getting used to and was awkward for me at first because I felt obligated to write down the major things: God, my husband, my kids, my family, and my health . . . If I didnāt include those things, I feared I might be cited as ungrateful and arrested by the gratitude police. (Turns out, thatās not a thing, the gratitude police.)
I stopped not overthinking the gratitude practice and started being thankful for whatever moved me in the moment. Here’s what my new practice might look like on any given day:
- The sun is shining today
- I woke up and worked out
- Itās not a hair-washing day
- My favorite pen
- Coffee
Gratitude is the key to rocking it.
Gratitude opened up a whole new world for me. I realized I had an infinite number of things to be grateful for and those things were everywhere! It turns out, when you practice being grateful, you canāt help but start to approach everything around you with a grateful heart and mindset. Iāve found gratitude to be extremely powerful and starting my morning with it absolutely sets the tone for my whole day.
And donāt just take my word for it. If you inquire with the internet, youāll find a tremendous number of benefits to practicing gratitude. Among them are improved health and relationships, increased energy, patience, optimism, and resiliency, and elevated mood. Gratitude can also keep you present, give you perspective, and make you happier.
Establishing daily routines and new habits like a gratitude practice takes persistence and consistency. The more you practice, the greater the impact. In time, they will become second nature. When that happens, youāll be on your way to rocking your best you!
How will you rock your best you?
Do you have a premeditated approach or do you wing it most days? If you wing it, how often is she really showing up in your day-to-day life? Do you practice gratitude? Would you be willing to try it? There is always something to be grateful for – even on our darkest days – and that alone offers so much hope. It might even change your life!