The Ted Lasso Vibe
If you know me, you know I don’t watch much TV. It’s not a point of pride. The truth is, I simply don’t make time for it. Well, that and I have a Pavlovian response to sitting on the couch after 7:23pm. It’s an invitation for sleep. Every. Single. Time.
Every now and again, however, I tap into a show that reminds me why people love TV. There is some really great programming out there!
Back in January, I stumbled upon such a show in Ted Lasso and it has had a lasting effect on me.
Ted Lasso isn’t just a TV show.
I thought maybe it was just me being sensitive to the enveloping story and great cast since I don’t partake very often. Like when a particular food tastes especially decadent because you haven’t indulged in a while. I surmised that I was more affected than the average – more seasoned – TV viewer. However, as it turns out, this show has had a profound impact on the masses.
According to L.A. Times Staff Writer, Michael Ordoña, “Ted Lasso isn’t just a TV show. It’s a vibe.” I couldn’t agree more.
I started to realize there were others when I listened to an episode of the Unlocking Us podcast in which Brene Brown interviews Ted Lasso stars Jason Sudeikis and Brendan Hunt. (Listen to the episode in this week’s Grace in the Race Podcast Playlist).
To hear Brene swoon over these two and proclaim her love for the show confirmed I was not alone. Furthermore, to hear Jason and Brendan talk about how it all began and share their hopes and intentions for the show was touching and made me love it even more.
This show moved me.
There’s no other way to say it. Perhaps it touched me because I was simply in a “needed to hear that” place in my life.
Ted says “Good and evil exist in the world and how we respond to it is all you really have control over.” That’s the very thing I needed to hear and bears repeating… How we respond is all we really have control over.
It hit home for me because, since the onset of the pandemic, I have not been responding to things very well. I’ve felt overwhelmed by the number of unknowns and stymied by the things that have felt out of my control. However, if I’m hearing Ted, there’s ONE thing that I can always control and that is how I respond.
Under the umbrella of that overarching vibe in the show, there are two lessons that surfaced for me:
- Don’t take things personally.
- Don’t dwell on your mistakes.
Ugh… I’ve been putting the ugh in ugly on both fronts lately and I wish knowing that made it all go away. Alas, it’s a work in progress. Here’s some perspective.
Don’t take things personally
In The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, the second agreement is don’t take anything personally.
Ruiz writes, “When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflict.” He goes on to say, “Whatever you think, whatever you feel…It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. Others are going to have their opinions according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.”
What would Ted Lasso say to that?
In the winningeq.com article, 12 Leadership Lessons from Ted Lasso, the author writes, “Ted’s credibility and coaching methods were subject to immediate and ongoing judgment, bolstered by unfavorable name calling from the British public, and even his own players. Lasso shows us how to stay grounded in who you are and your leadership philosophies despite overwhelming scrutiny.”
It’s easier said than done, Ted, but I will keep trying! After all, this is an invitation for grace, if I’ve ever heard one!
When I start to take things personally, I’m going to hit the pause button and do my best to stay grounded in who I am and see opposing opinions for what they are – someone else’s perspective. I might even learn something!
Don’t dwell on your mistakes.
“You know why the goldfish is the happiest animal on earth?” Ted asks one of his players… “Got a 10 second memory.”
“Be a goldfish.” Ted says.
Mistakes will continue to be made for the foreseeable future. Acknowledge them, learn from them and then let them roll off your back.
Kids do this well. I think it was innate in all of us at one point to live in the moment and then move on. Kids are able to walk, bike, skate, summersault, because they don’t label their initial attempts as “failures.” They also don’t let any failed attempts mean anything about them. They are singularly focused on achieving their goal to walk, bike, etc…
Somewhere along the way, we grew up and started caring how others perceive us. We learned the bad habit of making things mean more than they should. We need to listen to the lesson from Ted Lasso and also learn from kids.
Like anything, this takes practice. We need to unlearn our bad habits of dwelling on the past and also surround ourselves with supportive people who can help us move forward. Only then, can we have the confidence to fail 1000 times and still take on the world.
From How to Be Self-Confident – Listen to Ted Lasso & “Be a Goldfish” by Lei Han of bemycareercoach.com
About the kids.
While the show is NOT for kids, Ted Lasso is littered with lessons we can instill in ours.
We needn’t dwell on our mistakes. Respond to them with self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Be a goldfish! Live, learn and move on. Then teach your kids to do the same.
Teach them to control how they respond to life because, as Ted reminds us, it’s one of the few things within our control.
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