Welcome to week #8 of our 8-week series on Grace in Awareness.
This issue wraps our 8-week series on Grace in Awareness. We’ll kick off our next series – Grace in Wellness – at the start of 2022.
I have to admit, I’m grateful that we have a little break coming up. I’ve been slacking on my holiday to-do list. We don’t have our tree up, my Christmas cards are sitting in a box on my kitchen island awaiting stamps and our Elf on the Shelf relocates about every 2-3 days.
Yep. My 12-year-old still believes. Is that a parenting fail? Maybe. Here’s how it all went down this year…
At the end of November, he grabbed the Elf on the Shelf book and brought it to my room where I was reading before bed. He read it aloud and set the thing in motion.
I took the bait.
Last night, the two of us were back in reading-in-bed mode and he said, “Mom, do you think it’s okay that I’m the only kid in 7th grade who still believes?”
Me: (Here it comes.)
Him: The thing is, I don’t understand the benefit of not believing. It’s way more fun to believe.
Me: (Here’s my chance to set things straight.)
Me: I totally agree.
Opportunity blown. The Elf lives on.
Maybe it’s because he’s my baby.
Maybe it’s because I LOVE to watch his imagination in action. He can pick up a spoon rest and use it to ward off aliens and save the world; and he does the coolest sound effects!
I’m happy to hold on to those moments as long as he’ll give them to me because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it won’t last much longer. Soon, the only thing my spoon rest will be saving is my countertop from dirty spoons.
Then there’s my other kid.
He’s fact based and math-minded and practical to a fault. He’s kind and loving, yet he’s long grown out of wanting to cuddle with me for read-in-bed time. He worries me sometimes when it comes to things like grooming and caring whether his clothes are on backwards, but he’s laser focused on being success-driven and so I hold out hope that the other stuff will catch up eventually.
This morning, before school I reminded the boys that their rooms needed to be tidied up. The little one got right to it.
The big one pretended like he didn’t hear me. And so I hit him with some fact based evidence from today’s insightful video; a TED talk from mom, author and former dean of freshman and undergraduate advising at Standford University, Julie Lythcott-Haims. This is from the transcript:The longest longitudinal study of humans ever conducted is called the Harvard Grant Study. It found that professional success in life, which is what we want for our kids, that professional success in life comes from having done chores as a kid. And the earlier you started, the better, that a roll-up-your-sleeves-and-pitch-in mindset, a mindset that says, there’s some unpleasant work, someones got to do it, it might as well be me, a mindset that says, I will contribute my effort to the betterment of the whole that that’s what gets you ahead in the workplace.
He heard that loud and clear. Before I got the full statement out of my mouth, he had half of his room cleaned up. Sure, he was cramming things into drawers in an effort to declutter the top of his dresser, but that’s a battle for a different day.
What child is this?
Moms have been asking this question since the dawn of time.
That’s a tongue-in-cheek reference to the Christmas song, but what mom hasn’t wondered, ‘who the Dickens is this kid’?
Some days they make us so proud and confirm that we really are successfully raising competent adults. Other times they have us asking Alexa if those kid-leashes come in teenager-size.
The truth is, at some point we have to set them out in the world – as adults. Until then, it’s our job let them figure out what makes them tick and inspires them to thrive; and then let them, without over-parenting them. That’s all. Easy-breezy… Alexa!
Take the quiz…
Today’s quiz comes from an article by Chad Young of Nashville Parent called “Quiz: What do You Know About Your Child?” Here’s an excerpt:In the blink of an eye your little one will be grown. Don’t let this precious relationship slip through your fingers. Take the time to get to know her on a deep level and to honor her unique qualities. The good news is, you’re reading this and you want a more meaningful relationship. Go through these questions [with your children] one by one.
Interesting, go on…
The rest of our resources for this issue are all from Julie Lythcott-Haims. We loved her TED talk and her book, How to Raise an Adult, so much that we decided to go all in on her insight this week. Her message is “relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings – and of special value to parents of teens.” That from the back cover of her book; and we concur.
I first read the book on Amanda’s recommendation about 5 years ago. It was so enlightening and impactful that I asked Steve to read it. It immediately became a go-to resource in our parenting tool box! Learn more about it and her latest book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult in the featured podcast.
🎬 Watch the video:
📖 Read the book: How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Over Parenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims
🎧 Listen to the podcast episode: Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting | How to Raise an Adult (30:14) in the player below then…
👩🏽💻 Join us for our weekly community call this Friday at 2pm ET in The Grace Lab on Zoom.
We’ll be chatting about the featured podcast episode (noted above) as well as your quiz results and we’d love to have you!
Want a reminder for the community call? Enter your name and email address below and click the red button. We’ll send you an email reminder an hour before the Zoom (along with the link to join the call).
🎙 Enjoy this week’s Grace in the Race Podcast Playlist while you get your ship together! Select an episode below to listen on Spotify.
😘 And finally, because life’s too important to be taken seriously, we leave you with this…
“My kid is turning out just like me. Well-played, Karma. Well-played.” – Author Unknown