You know those moms who seem to have it all figured out?
What’s their secret?
It’s difficult to get to the bottom of this question without addressing the idea of comparison.
We all know we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others but let’s face it, it’s human nature.
The best way to assess how we’re doing in this job-without-a-manual called motherhood is to look around and see what and how everyone else is doing.
In my opinion, the comparison isn’t so much the problem… it’s what we do with the information that either cages us or sets us free.
The “caging” happens when we determine that we’re not measuring up and opt to stew in our perceived shortcomings. We stick to our script in the story life has written for us, all the while longing for a better life.
Meanwhile, it’s those “free” moms who seem to have it all figured out. What’s their story?
The truth is, they don’t really have it all figured out, but they are on to something!
Their secret is simple.
The moms that portray “having it all together” are living with purpose.
They are writing their own story rather than playing a role in someone else’s rendition of their life.
That doesn’t mean they have it all figured out or that they never encounter adversity. It means they face motherhood with an open mind, a growth mindset and a plan to overcome adversity. They’ve also mastered 3 key areas of growth: clarity, accountability and gratitude.
It’s time to write a new story!
This just in… parenting is messy. Okay, that’s not news.
At Grace in the Race, we value a growth mindset because we have so much to learn from the messiness. What’s the story you’re telling yourself? Are you sweeping the mess under the rug or embracing it?
Writing your own story is a function of personal growth. It starts small and builds. You don’t sit down to write a book. You start with once upon a time and add your narrative little by little, embracing the messiness as you go.
As motivational guru, Sean Croxton likes to say, “little by little, a little becomes a lot!”
Little by little is a lesson from this week’s Insightful Video. It’s a story of perseverance in rewriting the story we tell ourselves. Watch it here.
3 characteristics your protagonist should have…
Every April, our MotherShip app prompts us to declutter 10 spaces in our home. This is meant to initiate our spring cleaning effort but it’s more than that.
As we shift into spring after the long winter, we have to shift our mindset. Spring brings with it new energy, new activities for the kids, new opportunities to get outside, etc. We can’t move through spring with our winter hibernation mentality. We have to pick up the pace and adapt to the new season.
Decluttering our environment helps us declutter our mind which, in turn, helps us to get clarity. It allows us to manage mom life feeling less overwhelmed and more calm and confident.
TRY THIS… In this week’s Smart Reads, there is a great article that addresses this. Read Ten Ways to Declutter Your Mind and Free Up Mental Space.
TRY THIS… Dr. Benjamin Hardy, PhD recommends this 2-minute daily accountability practice:
- Get an accountability partner – someone you know, like and trust.
- Every evening text your partner 3 things you aim to accomplish the next day. Keep it simple. Think bullet points, not paragraphs. And keep it manageable – 3 things you can realistically accomplish.
- The next night when you text [her], write the number of things you accomplished that day (e.g. type “2” if you accomplished 2 of your 3 things) followed by the 3 bullets for the next day. Do this every night to hold each other accountable and you both will see progress!
“Those moms” compare themselves just like you do. But rather than comparison leading them to feel inferior, they are grateful for what they have and where they are along their journey. They exude a sense of peace because they are grateful and don’t waste their time and energy wishing they were someone else. They take action!
TRY THIS… Think about your life and your story. Name 5 things you’re grateful for right now. Repeat this practice daily, writing down 5 things in your life that you’re grateful for. It will change your outlook and ultimately the story you’re telling yourself about you and your life because it’s nearly impossible to feel grateful and unhappy at the same time.
Be sure to check out our “Getting through hump day like…” video in this week’s newsletter. You’ll get a good laugh and a lesson in comparison and gratitude!
So, what’s your story?
A good story has trials to overcome. It gets messy, yet offers hope. We cheer on the protagonist, knowing she can persevere!
Want some insight on how to rewrite your story? Read How To Change The Story You Tell Yourself About You from this week’s Grace in the Race Smart Reads.
Grab your pom-poms, mama. It’s time to start cheering on the protagonist in your story!
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